What a year. What a difficult beautiful year. When I finally feel sort of grown up (?!) and have sort of finally found peace in my heart. And, keeping in mind that things change, I don’t want to loose my wisdom! #documenting is important not only at work 😉
So here are my shortlisted 29 lessons I picked up through my last year on this planet. I wonder if it resonates with you too!
1. Be with people who surprise you
Simple as that. It’s not your job to always stir the course. You’ll discover much and more if you give another the lead.
2. Do more than you’re expected
Prep that cake, organise that weekend, paint a birthday postcard, make a call, send a picture, say “I care”, hug a friend. Don’t hesitate. If the idea pops up in your mind, do it! What’s there against it? Those who like it, will stick.
3. Listen to everybody’s advise, then do it your way (and you know, I do it my way)
You’re not so special. Everything is built on shoulders of giants and you’re not the only one who’s achieved something. Thus listen to everybody’s advise, they have experience, they have a point. BUT. Don’t forget, this is your life and you are responsible for every step you take. So decide for yourself and own it.
4. Choose your battles
Don‘t have the need to prove you‘re right all the time. It’s exhausting, and why is it so important anyway? To feed your ego with a notion that you’re right? Nah. No more. Only make the effort if it really matters or if he/she really matter to you.
This one’s for you. Dance alone. Dance with girlfriends. Dance with friends. Dance with your dad. Dance with a stranger. And then dance alone again. Every day. Because you need it! You know you do! So dance. And don’t care if people see you accidentally. They also do weird things when no one’s watching.
6. When you feel you got too much on your plate, do absolutely nothing for 10 minutes
Holy crap, so stressed, running, late, running late. You have no idea how to juggle everything you need today? It’s just too much! … STOP. Sit. Breathe. Don’t do anything for a moment. Then take a pen and write down all the things you gotta do today. Evaluate. Doesn’t look that scary anymore, does it? Now go get a piece of chocolate and work on the most pressing task.
7. Be alone when you’re most afraid to be lonely
And really soak this one in. If you’re afraid of it. Do exactly that. And then you’ll realise, that it ain’t at all that scary. You’re good girl. You’re good.
8. Why so serious
Life is only dramatic if you make it. It’s only super serious if you make it so. So don’t do it. Live life in all the colors. Cry when you’re sad and laugh when you’re happy. But never forget, that you’re one of 9 billion people living on a tiny ball of mud in the middle of a vast universe. And really… you don’t matter all that much. So choose to be lighthearted.
9. If you‘re trying to be different, special, stop. And be yourself instead. There’s only one like you.
And… I’ve made the point just like that.
10. Say “no” when your gut is screaming “no!”
People will respect you more, because you respect yourself. So set the standard and live up to it.
11. Be grateful for what you have. Others have much less.
My dad once said that life is like zebra stripes. Sometimes it’s black, sometimes it’s white. Don’t complain when you’re in a black phase, you might just realise it was actually white.
Don’t take things, people, health, job for granted. Be grateful and actually live it.
12. Don‘t give up on anyone, unless they ghost you. Then let go. Forever.
Don’t burn bridges. Unless the others do. Then just accept and take a detour. You don’t need these people in your life. They don’t want to be in it!
13. Talk to your parents like they were your friends
Because they are. They also need advise, and understanding and just to talk to someone. They also want to laugh and have fun. And yes, they’re not perfect. What a shocker. Forgive them that!
14. Wear whatever the heck you want
Too funky? Who said it? The people who always wear grey?.. Too sexy… really? You’re welcome. Enjoy the view. Too pink. So what, I’m not afraid of the looks. Too… much. Well, that’s just me sometimes. And I’m kind of proud of this one. Some people like it, some people don’t. But the nice thing, is that no one is really ever indifferent.
15. Don’t trust first impressions
All the best things in life are unexpected. Never forget that the majority of your closest friendships happened to be with people whom you either didn’t like in the beginning, (sometimes quite disliked actually), or didn’t pay attention or even didn’t know their name or what they do for months. Just watch. And see who they are. It will take time, but it’s worth it. No one deserves to be put on pedestal without proving their worth.
And ooh! It doesn‘t matter what the person was or what he/she has a potential to be. Only what they are. Now.
16. Laugh. Loud.
Don’t be ashamed of joy. Manifest it. Be unapologetic about being happy.
17. Open your heart
…and keep it open as often as you can. Let the experiences flow through you. Be curious about those leaves, new music, smells, ideas (!), eyes… Different is so exciting! Brown… blue… green.
Welcome. Everything. With a smile and good will. Be nice. No one is inherently bad. Find connection. There’s a way to everyone’s heart. And there’s always a hidden spice in the meal… Breath in that cold spring air. Don’t complain! Just take it in. And your whole life with it.
18. Don‘t judge
You have no idea what’s going on in another person’s mind. Or what they’re going through. Listen, ask, try to understand. Even if they do something you don’t like, there’s always a way out of it through curiosity, connection and understanding.
19. Just do it
How many times have you thought of it… How many times the idea looked too big to even start it. Well, screw that. Start now and start small. If it makes sense, it will turn into something, or nothing. Who cares. It was still better to try than never do it. Just do it! Be brave.
20. Remember: this too will pass
No matter if you’re sad or so so happy. Remember, there’s nothing more constant than change. Whatever you’re experiencing now, it’s not eternal. Adapt. Live the change. Embrace it. “It is what it is until it isn’t” (i thank my friend for this quote 😉
21. You don‘t need to decide anything right now, you‘ll know when you‘ll know
If you don’t know what you want. If you don’t know where to go or what to do. If you don’t know what exactly is behind that look in his eyes… Don’t do anything. It means you don’t know! Just wait and see. The moment always comes. And then either you or someone else will make it clear. You will know when the time is right. Let life sort itself out.
The truth is, you’ll never know when the “knowing” comes. So open your heart and go figure this out. Even better together. Sometimes it’s more fun 😉
22. Be careful what you wish for ’cause you just might get it
Really understand what you want, what’s “me” and don’t settle for anything less than that. We get what we deserve. So be sure to be brutally honest with yourself and don’t compromise. Well, maybe just sometimes. But never on core values! And yes, accept it, it might take time. But you’ve got thyme, so no worries ;).
23. Your absence is as important as your presence
So don’t indulge in FOMO. It’s as important to miss people as to be by their side. Therefore, do, what you know is right to do, and be where you wanna be not caring you will miss on something elsewhere. Actually they’ll miss you. And you’ll miss them too. And that’s crucial.
Because there’s really no other place to be. Nothing else to do. Nowhere to go and with no one else to be right now. Just here :p and now xD
24. Don‘t be a flat earther
Look at the facts and then make conclusions not the other way around. Daydreaming is so nice. But remember, life will never be like you dreamt. It will always be different. Because. That’s just how it is. Life happens outside your head, not inside. So better live life, not hide in your thoughts.
And even if you really want something to be true… Open your eyes and face it: is it really? Pdm tss.
25. Hold your hugs and eye contact longer than it is comfortable
Screw your insecurities. Touching people is so nice! So do it. Hug your brother even if you’re about to cry. Keep that guy close when the air is electric. Make others turn away their gaze because the eye contact got too intense. Put your head on my shoulder. Don’t sit far away. Sit close to me. I want to feel your warmth. I want our knees to touch. Even if that will be all that happens.
26. Put your phone away when you are with real people, yourself included
Seriously. What can possibly be more important than having quality time with your family or friends. OK. If you’re waiting for important news. But… social media? Another stock fluctuation? It’s really ok to check it in two hours. Now be in the moment. You really have no idea if you ever gonna see them again.
27. Love is not what you feel, it’s what you do
I don’t want sweet words, I want real words. And I want someone who does exactly what he says. Because that is damn sexy. And trustworthy too.
So pay attention! To both, what people say and do. You will never know what they feel exactly. So trust their word. Because that’s all you got.
28. Love. Truly, deeply, everyone you want.
You don‘t need to be with a person to love him. You don’t need to be with someone at all. You should only be with someone if you both want it, you’re compatible and ready… But without love, it also won’t work. 😉
29. Wear a helmet
When you ski, when you ride, when you climb… Simple as that. You’re a grown up. You gotta take care of your own shit and take care of your own health. And there’s really no problems unless you have health problems.