Stress is tricky. It makes you lost even in your own feelings ant thoughts.
Stress had quite a great time messing with me this summer as I was really concentrated on my goals and didn’t let them out of my sight for one moment. But now, when I have some calm time for putting myself back together, I fall. Just for a moment. Then I’m back up again, with my head up high and a confident smile on my face.
That’s what I needed! Fatal physical knock out (I am exaggerating a little, but you know… It’s more fun). A day ago, I had a really nice cycling trip with a German company in a land where people speak something between French and Swiss-Deutsch.
Great ride from Fribourg to Murten.
Constant going up and down, heat in my legs and the bright sun. Amazing time, which also reminded me of scenic home views… Green flatlands and forests, tiny hills and domestic animals in the fields. Grassy beaches! Not to forget a new book in my hands and a slight tan on my legs. Sounds like Utopia ;). That’s what it was. Especially when we met one more local on our way. The gorgeous one with the softest nose in the world and the most handsome muscles. Oui oui. You’re still my dream, baby. You’re still on my radar.
Crazy Mind Games.
I’ve been staring at music videos of the MAGIC! for very obvious reasons.
First experiences are always welcomed with some special attention, total dedication and a foolishly open heart. They usually seem, feel and look even better than they are… probably… or maybe not? Everything is relative, isn’t it.
First time I saw canyons in Utah. My very first pet. First time I spoke to a foreigner. First time I traveled alone. First time I achieved something incredible. First dance with my dad. My first job. The very first strawberry on the summer morning.
First and the only time I whispered “Aš myliu tave”.
Always unforgettable, perfect and innocent.
How do you exceed it? Is there a way? Mhmm. Well, sometimes there is. I think the experience just has to be super extra different and then … It counts as a whole new one. But no matter what, the first is like an ink in your memory. You cannot erase it, change it or ever overcome it. You can hate it, love it, despise it or try to repeat it. Not gonna happen! The only way to survive is to find a way to live with it.
And so you do. You cherish the good and embrace the hard ones, not ever stopping to built new memoirs. You start to treat them as your friends. Introducing new to the old ones. Matching and mixing them. Preferring the one, then turning to the other. And you always silently hope that the upcoming ones are just better and more remarkable. For some it’s quite easy, for others – impossible. But only the time will show.
Anyways. I’d like to think that Nothing is ever over.
It’s just good to admit it to yourself. It was perfect and there’s nothing much to be done about it. Live with it and cherish it. But don’t depend on it. Be free for something extraordinary and new again. Something totally alien. Something to spin your world all around. So yes. Now it is me. I am the king of my castle and I’m moving to a NEW one.