I am Jelly

I am, I truly am.

I am jealous of that girl. Yes that one over there, who’s wearing a pretty sand colored blouse with three quarter long sleeves. She has a matching skirt and new blue shoes she’s very happy about. They are now trendy with a pointing nose and a little  heel. Although the girl   doubts  herself in secret, she never shows it off. But at this moment she feels pretty .

She’s standing in the middle of the ball room together with her classmates. She’s only 10 and she still has that amazing childish aura ’round her face. Her big brown eyes are almost  shining as  she looks to the audience with a little bit of fear but also… is it excitement and …some pride?

I am jealous of that girl. She is so young, but yet she seeks  to be the best. Even though she’s sooo not ready yet (the hell, who is?) to step outside and face  the price she has to pay for her  success. I am jealous, because she doesn’t know. Her face is bright and she’s still so sweetly naive. She has no clue about her future and no expectations either. She’s gonna taste the life – the hot and cold. She’s gonna learn  to pave the road to happiness by her own bare hands. Sacrificing all that gives her  safety… comfort to what makes one  great. 

I am so jealous. 14 years will pass and this girl will be right here, right next to me – always a little shy, always in a shadow of a doubt, but never given up.  She wouldn’t think she’s capable of all she is. But she will be. The things she’ll do, the challenges she’ll overcome, the goals she’ll achieve. For her, it’ll be hard to believe. Oh Girl.  She’s gonna reach out for the stars – some fake ones and some real. She’s gonna live her  life on self made roller coaster heading only Up & Up. 

Oh that little girl with big brown eyes. I am jealous of all BIG  ideas she’ll get to know, of all the people in her way, of all adventures marking her path. She’s gonna grow, she’ll be mature, but yet a little child inside her never will be tamed. She’s gonna stay that kid, she’s gonna paint her life in watercolor.  And she’ll  go chasing new windmills till she defeats them. And then she’s gonna chase the new ones…

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Bern. Reithalle.

3 thoughts on “I am Jelly

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